I have always been aware of nature, but my awareness was that of an “outsider” looking in. There is a difference now, but I am certain my ability to articulate this difference will fall short of what I feel in my heart.
This morning, I watched from my window as about 20 sparrows played in the rain. I could feel their excitement ... their enthusiasm! They made me laugh, and I wanted to play too. Years before, I would have noticed that birds were flying around my house ... and that was all. But, as I stand now, looking out my window, I sense that I am connected. Nature surrounds me, runs through me, I am what she is, and I know that when I die, I shall return to nature, the substances I borrowed from her.
I am not an observer in nature; I am a participant of nature … just as the window I stare out of, participates. The window is made from sand and two chemicals, not only found in nature, but in our foods and in our bodies as well ... sodium and calcium carbonate. One day, nature will reclaim this window, just as she will one day reclaim my body. What I see and feel as separation from her is merely an optical “delusion” of my every day or surface consciousness. Everything is an expression of nature.
My interest lies in quantum physics. I know that energy is everything, and everything is energy. I know that we are a permanent and intricate part of the universe (which literally translates to “One Song.”) Somehow along the way of living life, I downplayed the role of nature; lost touch with how much she sustains my very life, all of life ... how much she IS life! All these years, day in and day out, nature provides for me. She houses, clothes, and feeds me, providing the very air I breathe. She opens herself up to me, sharing her warmth and her majestic beauty in magnificent ways. And I want to do whatever I can to show my appreciation ... even if it is no more than a daily “thank you.”
How can I ever forget again, or ignore her importance and the many gifts she provides? Ecopsychology has done more than widened my awareness and compassion to embrace all things as the whole of nature; ecopsychology has reminded me of who I am. It has brought me home again to my Earth Mother.
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